This journal page is 18″x24″ … 140 lb watercolor paper. This is the first time I have ever created a journal page at this large size. I created the drawing part on Wednesday the 25th … I added the thoughts … words … on Thursday evening the 26th … I posted it and the following notes on my Facebook wall today.
The bottom right hand corner says “Revisiting good memories before they disappear into the mists of forgetfulness
I joined a group on Facebook about my hometown … those who know me in real life know that I am not really much for all the nostalgia craze … but this kind of remembering the past is a lot of fun and not stressful … I can participate or I can move on to something else with no one’s feeling being hurt.
“Listen to the wind” … Sioux Falls is full of wind nearly every day! It blows my hair in or out of my eyes when I am outside walking the dog … it whispers or it shrieks … it has a lot to say though and I am learning to listen!
“Searching for purpose in a chaos filled world” … being at the beginning stages of probably Alzheimers is full of fog, confusion and uncertainty many days … and it is forcing me to grow as an artist in different directions than where I was and where I planned to go.
“Today really is the first day of the rest of your life”
“Get involved in your life”
“Forging new memories in daily life with family & friends” … yes some of my short term memories are gone before they cross my mind these days … no matter if they cross my mind 50 times … but I am still creating new long term memories from some of those short term memories that happen!!!
“Today is the beginning not the end” … thinking caterpillar into butterfly here
Being in what is probably the beginning stages of Alzheimers is forcing me to become a different artist than who I was and who I had planned to become. The direction change is not necessarily bad … it just was unexpected … though with our family history I guess I should have considered it would happen to me … but why borrow trouble unless it knocks at your door is a good way to live sometimes.
I am struggling with having a purpose in my life now as a person as well as an artist. It is decidedly ODD to me not to know what purpose my art will be used for before it is created … I was a commercial artist … corporate and personally … for over 20 years. Right now … I have no clue what will happen to the art I create from now on … will it be thrown out by my family later on? Will it be sold? Will any of it be saved by them?
Not my problem now nor will it be then when I no longer know who I or they are … … that bestows a certain type of freedom in my life that I have never known before … … a new adventure begins!!!