barbaraburns.com

I’ve been trying to keep busy so my craving for cigarettes is not over-powering – quitting smoking is VERY difficult some moments & very easy other moments – I just wish most of it was very easy moments … maybe I will get there but I’m not yet – right now the difficult moments out-weigh the easy moments. I created a new dragonfly design tonight – Clown Dragonfly Tears.

… yeppers … I do have a sense of humor about my own foibles … and it generally shows up in whatever I am drawing or painting! Or like this one … becomes the main focus of coping strategies … I feel all jumbled around … like laughing while crying … being sad while happy … it is easy for me to lose myself in painting and drawing … time just flies by .. sometimes something wonderful appears .. other times … trivial ugliness not worth sharing … I really like the colorful clown face though … it reminded me right away of when my kids were small … one minute they would be happy as a dragonfly just clowning around … the next a tempest storm of emotions escaping into the atmosphere … plus right now, me with the no smoking grandma campaign … shush … dragonflies shouldn’t tattle-tale to an 8 year old – he has no clue how difficult it can be to quit .. and I hope he never learns!

My daughter asked me tonight if I had “cheated” on my no smoking … yes I have … Sunday & Monday … one newscast Sunday had Hurricane Katrina coming through our door in Houston IF it did not turn as was expected … and then on Monday I found out my boss’s daughter lives in Mississippi just north of New Orleans. Good news is they are all right and unharmed … bad news is the damage to their home and neighborhood – trees down… everywhere – no power – etc. etc. etc. But, not today so I am back on track … one step … one second … one minute … one hour … one day … one week … at a time … showing up is 98% of life … not showing up is 100% of no smoking!

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